Today

'Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn
anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.'

~ from Sweet Darkness by David Whyte, 1992





I am peeling through the layers,
realizing some of them protective
and adaptive to situations,
things I had become accustomed to for various reasons.
I had long talks with myself this week.
Took time for solitude and enjoyed the
company. I have had so much going on,
so many decisions and distractions
this year that I had lost touch with myself. A little bit.
I realized traits I've developed that don't feel like
me, I've been analyzing them lately. A few friends offered some input and an ear, my sister and mom & dad... I appreciated their viewpoints.
I've missed my nature walks I routinely took before I moved here to the city this year (ahh... so cleansing to the soul)... I must seek out the opportunities that are around me here...
They say change is good. And I am the first to say I love change. Something to add variety and excitement to life, to break you out of routine... Not that I can't be content with things as they are, but always looking for new ways of doing, seeing, feeling, tasting, touching, smelling..... BEING...
Saying goodbye to some people,
and hello to some new,
Revisiting old friends,
meshing with the present and
all that has changed with life
to bring us to where we are now.
Enjoying the moments of laughter,
and heart pounding excitement.
Tears being shed along the way, to make room
for more Love and joy.... although much is guarded
I can sense within me, and it's hard to realize that... but Time
is a good thing...

*smile*

I love to dream and think big. When I travel, instead of quenching the desire for awhile, it makes it worse. I went out of the country last week, and thought, I could just keep going and never turn back. Go sip some merlot with long meals in Tuscany, or backpacking in France, or check out the not so soft koalas in Australia. I have been to Europe before and liked what I saw... which makes it harder. I just commited to a job for the entire April, and I think to myself, what if I need to leave??? Crazy I know... but that's me.


oh, it tried snowing a bit today.


May 16, 2007

So my sis went back to California..Between the princess themed grad party, a wedding, (no funeral), the working on the Tv sets, watching Tv tapings, shopping, b-b-q's, zoo, dancing, rollerblading 1x ( she crashed big time ... tried to fall on the grass and ended up in the bark shreds bleeding) , movies, talking into the wee hours, .I could barely catch my breath... . I'm gonna sleep for the rest of the week! It was such fun, but my energy was lower than normal, plus finishing some antibiotics... We would get into giggling and laughing uncontrollably until it hurt... my aunt said we sounded like we had been drinking (which we hadn't) at one of her girl togethers.... good times... Funny how the neighbor who likes to do yardwork at my older roomates' house seemed to be showing up alot more. Ellie kept saying "he's baaaaccckkk" hehe... & I also got to play protective sister a few times; Gonna miss my chauffeur!
From the zoo. I brought my camera but left my battery charging back at home.. used my friends' camera which only let me get a few shots before it too died. I was so hoping to get a koala shot.. will settle for the cute kangaroo pic and camel ride shot however.